However, Australia is losing a bit of
its luster as its National Health and Medical Research Council
(NHMRC) is launching a full-scale attack on a cherished school
tradition. With its recently released guidelines, the NHMRC is asking
schools to prevent kids from blowing out candles on their birthday
cakes.
This has many people up in arms,
because there's nothing too minor that can't be solved with a little righteous
indignation. People are mostly concerned that this brings
society one step closer to a “nanny state” – a system in which
our kids are overprotected by increasingly restrictive rules dictated
by kindly matrons who come blowing in on their magic umbrellas and
dance on rooftops with chimney sweeps... or something like that.
It's hard to dispute the “nanny
state” claims. Many similar propositions have been announced all
over the world to equal rancor. The reasoning is always the same: the
rule is intended to minimize exposure to germs and promote better
hygiene. And there's nothing wrong with that, per se. After all, it's
shocking how often people just exit public bathrooms without washing
their hands. There are some public bathrooms I can't even walk past without wanting to
wash my hands.
Nonetheless, it's hard to imagine that
candle-blowing is a major concern worthy of such
regulations. Then again, what else could be contributing to the growing rate of illness among schoolchildren? It certainly can't have anything to do with the fact that our kids are
increasingly being raised in environments so sterile that even the
slightest threat of germ contact sends adults into DEFCON 1.
Still, there are two things
about these guidelines that are generally overlooked. The first is
that they don't actually ban blowing out candles. In fact, they explicitly state that cakes and candles may be brought
into schools. What they do suggest is that candles be placed in
a separate cupcake. Granted, this still seems overly cautious, but
it's not as though the NHMRC is telling kids not to blow out
candles at all and, instead, just sit quietly and eat their
pre-sliced cake pieces with government-issued, double-sterilized
eating utensils.
The second thing is that these
regulations have an even odder suggestion: children who play in
sandpits should wash their hands afterwards... and beforehand.
So before entering a giant box filled with sand, kids
should wash their hands. I suppose there's a glimmer of sense to this
suggestion. After all, unlike other toys and playthings, sandpits
can't be easily washed afterwards. If germs get on a ball, the ball
can be cleaned with a sanitizing wipe. If germs get in a sand pit,
nobody is going to wipe down every individual grain of sand.
However, even if
kids do wash their hands beforehand, what's the first thing they do when
they get into the sandbox? They walk on the sand. In their shoes.
Which have probably walked through dirt, grass, mud, and countless
other terrains. That's clearly okay by NHMRC standards.
Of course, all of
these concerns about germs and hygiene obscure another facet to this story. Most people react to how overprotective the guidelines are and how much we're
coddling our children. However, my first reaction was: kids in
Australia are allowed to have cake in school? In the U.S., I think
kids are asked to celebrate their birthday with a stalk of celery
sticking out of a whole-wheat bran muffin.
I guess either way,
it's all about the children. And either way, we're just trying to make sure they don't enjoy their birthdays.
